the very soul that you've long ago chose to forgo.

Yesterday night I had a slight toothache on my lower arch of teeth, and i thought things were going to be fine. I just gargled salt water and headed to bed. However in just a matter or minutes or hours, the swell got so bad. The pain was so unbearable that i couldn't get to sleep. I knew i had to make an emergency visit to the dentist as soon as i'm awake.

I only managed to really sleep for like 2-3 hours as the pain was excruciating. The moment i woke up, my face swelled up like as if i had a huge sweet kept on the side of my mouth. I was contemplating whether I should head back to Dr. Poon at Paragon, or should i just search for a nearby dentist as I really didn't have the strength and willpower to travel to orchard. The pain was so sudden, it didn't give me any discomfort or whatsoever till the moment Alvin flew to Europe.

In the end i settled with ' Smiles R Us' dental clinic. The moment i saw Dr.Daniel, he did a slight check with just naked eye. He did not notice anything unusual or whatsoever, he only noticed a unsightly swell so he got me to take an Xray immediately. The xray was fast, didn't have to wait or whatever, the results of the xray were then transferred to his imac immediately.

He was shocked to see a cyst growing beneath my gum as there was actually a huge black shadow shown on the xray beneath that particular tooth. I pleaded with him that i wanted it to be treated immediately even though he had appointments waiting for him. He was nice to assist as mine was considered an emergency case.

He gave me 8 injections to numb my mouth and started operating, in the end i had 16 stitches on my wound. Looks like i can't feast on sunday anymore, and the damage is $1300. I'm officially broke! :(

I'm kind of impressed on how people can make the simplest things in life more interesting. Went to get bubble tea today and i asked the uncle how much is it. He said $200 instead of $2. And then we had a slight laugh over it.

Had mac breakfast in the morning and did manicure today ! Its been so long since i had my nails done. Think the last time was 2 months ago?

I'm really enjoying my life now ttm. Its been many years since i ever have been so free like now. Working just 3-4 days a week. Waiting for school to start. How i wish i can have the financial abilities to continue doing this for the rest of my life. Been spending many days and nights with AK, am so glad i've found him. I guess nobody really bothers about the past, at least not for me... i'd rather look forward to a brighter and happier future, than to keep crying over the same old thing repeatedly.

I think i'm really fortunate to have so many pillars of strength in my life. I'm feeling ohsocontented...I wonder what AKET has for me later.  kthxbye.

I don't understand why some people can be so damn bloody rude as to -

- Stand beside you while you are depositing/withdrawing money on the atm machine wanting to see how much fortune you are left with.
- Keep asking how much savings have you saved throughout your life.
- Keep asking how much funds are left in your corporate bank account.
- Dig up your old deserted blog and read through your past entries and ask you why did you do something like this, like that in year 2000 when you yourself could not even remember that particular incident.
- Peep at your password and try using that password to pry open to all your online accounts hoping its the same password.
- Contact all your friends on sms/ facebook hoping to know what you are up to now.
- When the chance arises, when he/she has access to your laptop / desktop and try to dig up old photos of you with your friends/ ex boyfriends WITHOUT your knowledge and after awhile when he/she gets too disturbed by the things he/she saw, he/she again questions you about it.

I find everyone needs privacy. This kind of person who is actually lurking around simply has no basic manners. hahaha. you know who you are. Although such things are not happening to me anymore, but the moment i think about it when it has happened before, it simply irks me. Pui.

i think i've hurt too many people in my life.... maybe karma will fall on me soon. i think i deserve to die. maybe life isn't meant to be great afterall.. and its true,, people have to make a few grave mistakes in their lives.. so that they'll learn .......................................

First day for cny isn't afterall very nice. It may be a good break from work for many people, but not for someone like me who needs to go shopping! as all the shops are closed. And i don't think i need a break from work because i enjoy so much of what i'm doing i don't really wanna take a break.

I bathed rain at home for the very first time yesterday. I must say that its damn bloody tedious. Especially when i don't have a appropriate sink to bathe her in, i can only put her on top of the toilet bowl and bathe her. its alright for pet dogs, definitely not for show dogs... i take less than 10 mins to bathe bob n cherry ..excluding the blow drying part of course . hell.. i must say my back ached so much after so much of bending down ( to lather the shampoo n conditioner into her coat . )

i don't have a proper standing blower to blow her coat with . sissy had to help me with the drying part ( holding the hairdryer for me ), so i could blow and brush her at the same time... i think i should invest in a good standing blower soon. Cny period is so busy for groomers.. Dog owners want their pets to look good too for the new year... So yeah, dogs do celebrate cny too.. haha.

Caught the new movie, which i don't even know the name. Where wu zun acted as a bandit in it. He is still sooooooooooo handsome. Seriously, i can't find a second man on earth who is as good looking as Wu zun. i think if u were to ask me a list of handsome guys on earth, top 3 would be Wu Zun , liu de hua and aaron kwok. And sorry, i don't find any caucasians handsome at all. lol.

This is like the 3rd day cherry has been debarked. I know theres a lot of debate going on, where debarking of dogs and declawing for cats is very cruel.. Many animal lovers detests the idea about it.. For me, definitely i'm an animal lover... However, when the problem lies on ur own pet, whereby u get complained by neighbours, i think there isn't really much of a choice u can make. Some people would say training helps. Yeah but for cherry's case, even an electric bark collar don't help... Leann told me, ' Amelia... its okay.. sometimes you've gotta be cruel to be kind.. ' .. I think what she said is really true. If u were a dog, would u rather be abandoned by your most favourable owner and never see her again, or would u rather be debarked... I can't bear to abandon cherry, she's been with me for close to 4 years now, i think i feel the pain more than anyone else. Although debarking is cruel, the dog can't bark like it was like before ... but that doesn't mean without her voice i would love her lesser, isn't it? For pet cats where owners declaw them because they destroy the furnitures, they lose their self defence from which their claws give them. But if its your own beloved cat, destroying all your furnitures ,would u rather abandon it, or declaw them ? Yeah maybe its painful, but only for a short period of time. The pain from the operation won't last forever. I guess owners would only do these when they're at their wits end. We don't have a choice ! Debarking and declawing - you solve the problem that your pet always give you, won't you love them even more? And psycologically you might love them even more, not because they're not noisy anymore, neither bececause they don't destroy things anymore... but because you feel that you've owed them something.... Cherry.... mummy really love you a lot. Please forgive me for what i did.

i miss kcbs so much. :(

Ing ann made me blog again. He said my blog has been dead for months . haaha. anyway i don't even know who even reads up on my boring pathetic blog.

Anyway, life has been new all over again. Life's full of new beginnings for everybody , and its also same for me..

Firstly, i'd like to talk about my beloved sissy. She's sent her proposal to a new school in hong kong, if it gets through, she'll be studying in hk for the next 2 years. Although i don't know if her proposal will get through, but i pray for the best as i want the best for my sis and i'm confident she can get what she wants. Seeing her all stressed up everyday over her FYP etc, sometimes she'll cry and weep a little over how stressed up she is, but .. in fact i dont know whether she will see this , but if sissy u are reading this, i'd like to tell u that u'll always have my support and no matter what as u are the best sister to me in the world.. although i can't help much but i hope i can help to cheer u up a bit with my nonsensical rubbish here n there. :)

Secondly, my 2 new Victoria secret handbags has arrived. Double joyness i've got 2 new bags for CNY . I've not done my CNY shopping yet, but i'll do so with Leann today .. We'll be catching Hachiko the movie at Plaza Sing tonight... I havent been meeting this babe of mine for months... Its finally time to catch up abit  a lot with her.

And months have passed, ive been more and more like an auntie. I havent drank with old friends of mine for months, haven't shopped for months, haven't even watched a movie for the longest time ever. I can't even remember whats the last movie i've caught with my friends... So tonight's gonna be a girl's night out... there's so much to bitch about. Bitch about those useless fugly men out there. I'm beginning to become super sexist against sickening MEN.. i guess i'm turning lesbian soon. Whatever. .. In short, i'm turning into an old , sour, smelly 黄脸婆。。  i've been chasing the silliest drama ever. Every weekday 11pm on channel 8, 台湾龙卷风. i think tonight's episode 73 or so . i haven't missed more than 3 episodes since this film started. ok shout out now.. AUNTIE AMELIA... and damn.. im gonna make mummy record this for me tonight as i'll be missing out this episode as im out with leann.. hahahaha.

I dont know why i keep chasing after this retarded low-cost drama when the whole time all these actors and actresses remain at the same place. Eg, in the office, at home , at another person's home . And they just keep talking and talking..... and i simply enjoy watching them, JUST BY TALKING...

And another shoutout for AUNTIE AMELIA... i'm actually listening to 黄小虎's song... and i find her songs really nice. shit shit shit. am i really getting THAT old .. and THAT 没有用？？？ I just got sissy to buy her album for me 2 days back. And have been listening to it continuously ever since.. and another thing. i haven't bought an ORIGINAL album for years. only for 黄小虎。。。 goodness gracious. I like her yet i'm living in self denial telling myself that i dont like her at all.. Sis told me she felt paiseh walking in to the CD shop asking the staff for this album. =,=

I'm contemplating now whether i should bring rainy out for a walk... i simply hate it when kids crowd around my dogs . Shouting and screaming at the top of their voices ... as though rainy's a monster.. not like rainy is like disturbing them or whatsoever...

Loads of stuffs to do today, the happy ones and unhappy ones.. I'm gonna fill my unhappiness up in a big bottle and throw it down the bloody building and pray i don't get caught for killer littering.

LOVESSSS lunching now~ bye....

8 more days before im flying to korea for a month with tania. excited and a little scared. So much to prepare but ive not prepared a single thing yet.

yesterday at work someone brought a quaker parakeet ( a parrot ) to play with our shop's sun conure. i was really amused by her parrot. at how tame it was and how sociable it could be. Her parrot can understand simple commands like ' step up ', onto ur fingers and says 'hello' when she asked him to. i was thinking why summer's hello is so soft and u can barely hear her saying 'hello ' unless u stay really close to her. But summer's whistling is super zai. she can whistle the whole day and amuse everyone in the neighbourhood.

so i read up about quaker parakeet. and webs shown infos that quakers are really good talkers. im tempted. im so wanting it. Aiyoooo. but right now i shouldn't think about anything else. my korea trip is much more important.

another ultimate goal is to quit smoking . i have to. and whatever. i know i have been ranting on this for years.

hur hur hur.. time is moving on really fast~

Its been such a longgggg time since i've blogged and all. Life has still been the same, working with dogs, go home and entertain my dogs, sleep with my dogs, and i go to work facing other dogs all over again. The routine hasn't changed much just yet.

The night-life Amelia has completely changed to a much more healthy lifestyle girl now. Other than i still smoke quite a lot... but definitely trying to cut down and quit asap ! :)

The new year hasn't start off great for me. =( unfortunately. Firstly it was cherry, my schnauzer.. who got infected with fungal infection and i brought her to the vet. This has caused me almost $200. Then when i thought its all over ( and i can start saving money again), nearing CNY my 2 wisdom tooth on my right was starting to give me problems. I didnt really get to enjoy the lovely CNY goodies everyone loved because of the swell my wisdom tooth was causing me to have. But my usual dentist was not available on any dates during CNY to help me extract them.. thus i had to wait and bear with the pain till cny was over.. And now they are both extracted. The damage for the 2 extraction of wisdom tooth is $800 ++. Big sighs :(

THEN.. it was when i thought the trauma of dental problems will all be over.. but the dentist found that one of my tooth is gonna give way and lose its vitality.. And i needed root canal treatment to save my tooth or otherwise it would need to be extracted out sooner or later. i went for the root canal treatment last week when i went to remove my stitches for the wisdom tooth and tomorrow i will be heading to paragon again to do my root canal treatment one more time. the damage for root canal treatment?? $600 ++ SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH.

other than these, of course i had a little splurge here and there... i went with mummy to clarins counter and bought all the essence and moisturizers, toners and serums.. and i spent $400 + just at clarins. But okay lah.. bet all these stuffs can last me one whole year..

Oh.. and my handphone gave way too. But someone special bought me one. I'm fortunate enough and i have no complains !


After so much, after doing so so much i still feel that my life is so mundane. And rather aimless.. i wonder why. Why does everything seems so far away...

Gonna save up hard for my next travel splurge. :)

Looking at the mountains and mountains of stuffs i've gotta pack in my room, i feel like crying and vomitting.

Life is full of new beginnings. And its up to you to decide and perceive how good you are gonna mark your day with.

Today i woke up with an extremely clear-headed mind. I decided to start my life afresh. I don't wish to depend on anybody anymore. Much less, depending on you. I've had enough and i knew i did the best of what i could do. Life is also about compromising. In fact, in many areas you've gotta learn to oblige in. Whether its work, family, friends or even love life. You're already grown up, if you failed to understand what is the meaning of compromising, and you'd rather let a small issue lead to a huge embroilment then i'm sorry , i don't wish to carry on feeling hot headed, living with agony and hurt anymore.

And since i've made up my mind to erase whatever that has been bugging me these 2 days, i'm happy. There is no such thing as you cannot live without this and cannot live without that. Your choice is within your own hands. I've made the correct choice, I'm satisfied. =)